I Need a Blog for all my Secrets

Yeah that’s what I said. A place to be me, anonymously. I mean, for personal stuff like conflict, and fears, and heartache, and mostly the usual stuff and probably some bad behavior and questionable decisions, okay. Not criminal, horrific shit, just mostly the daily crap. And just once in a while.

Otherwise this happens: I have shit going on in my life that I don’t want to talk about and that I REALLY don’t want to talk about HERE (Sorry for the caps instead of italics; my cursor is frozen). So I stop talking, which means I stop writing, because I can either talk freely or not at all. I find it almost impossible to just censor SOME stuff. Because when I’m shoving all THAT stuff down, the stuff I do want to talk about gets shoved down too. Also, it takes a lot of freaking valuable energy, picking and choosing words as if walking in a minefield, when all I really want to do is write.  And to be transparent.

Whew! I feel a lot better, at least for now. Freed. Not gagged. Flowy. Ahhhhh…better.

Why else be a writer?

Edit:  These posts are short, kind of rambly.   But better than nothing.  So the world can suck it.  Which I’m sure many fellow writers will understand.

#Secrets,#Mute,#Honesty,#Writing,#Vulnerable,#Transparent,#ShortPost

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10 thoughts on “I Need a Blog for all my Secrets

  1. I do all my super private stuff on paper, just to get it out of my head but not share it with anyone. My blog is semi-secret at the moment but I’m thinking of “outing” myself to more friends IRL – it’s such a big part of my life so it feels weird not talking about it. Still don’t want family to read it though. :\

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Meg. Yeah, I used to do that in journals all the time but not so much anymore. Plus somehow, I have a DEEP need to be transparent to other people, publicly, though still anonymously. More ME. Although I AM transparent to a couple close friends, I really want to talk about some universal issues that have been coming up for me lately and that have left me slightly flattened. :s Hard to explain. Nice to hear your voice. :)

      Like

  2. Reblogged this on The Life And Times Of MalindaNadine and commented:
    After reading this piece , I feel like this longing inside of me grow stronger. I’ve always wanted to be good at writing. I’ve always wanted to be able to express myself easily. I’ve always been fearful of putting my work out there. The fear of putting my true thoughts out there. THIS fear of being transparent. Which makes no sense because all I’ve ever wanted to do was write and put myself out there. Ever since i understood what it was to express oneself, I’ve been able to do it in journals for a time and then i stop. I’m tired of that. i want to be able to finish what i started so long ago. I have so much to say yet at the same time have so little to say. This post has inspired me to be, well Me. wholeheartedly completely one hundred percent me. I want to do what i want. to have the motivation to not stop for fear of being judged. This is a NEW Beginning. This is My time.

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    1. You’ve inspired me as well. I enjoy your voice very much. I look forward to reading more from you on your blog.

      I know what it feels like to have a lot to say that can also feel like nothing, should strangers read it. But it is a lot. Plus, all writing helps you find your particular voice, and as you said, become more YOU. :)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Nadine, I JUST now saw the email that asks for access to my blog but I don’t think I need to give permission; anyone who wants to, can access it. At least I think. I have to explore more to make sure that’s true but I’m pretty sure it is. I’ll get back to you later. And hey! I miss your voice! How are you? :)

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  3. What mediocremeg14 just said. I think you can write stuff down on paper or if you really want to get it out there. ‘out yourself’ , but in a way no one will know, you could easily start another blog.
    Besides, I usually think that it’s better to say what you want to say instead of drowning out your voice. I love reading writers who are honest at least to themselves, it usually shows when they write, I try to do the same, but it’s not exactly easy. There are parts of me I still want to keep to myself.
    Okay, that was way too long, but I hope it helped :-) … and sorry about your cursor.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I enjoy your writing so much, on all levels. It feeds me, it takes me away, it makes me laugh, it makes ME want to write…all good for the soul and all I expect and look forward to in a writer, in books or articles or posts. You keep it SO real. :)

      Liked by 1 person

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