Today I deleted my Follow button

I’m a horrible person to follow. Wait.  Following me makes me feel awful.  It freaks me out.  I have a gigantic ego, I think, but it looks like Swiss cheese; full of holes.  The last couple of days of posting after some time away, I picked up 10 (or is it ten) new followers and I’ve been paralyzed and depressed ever since.  I felt like, Oh God, now I’ll never get to write!

Please believe I don’t like posting what a neurotic case I sometimes am. But more to the point is that the blank page itself frightens me, which uses up a LOT of energy, so that when I turn on my computer to write, I don’t have the energy to read and like and comment on other people’s stuff.  I do like doing those things but I find that then I don’t have anything left-over for me.

Too, I’m not into the whole Like for Like thing.  I’m 56! Please.

Anyway.  I’m still going to follow a favorite few, can’t help that.  It’s just that I’d like to do some short story writing more, and meta writing less.

I’m grateful to the people who have followed me, I truly am. You made me feel like someone, like a writer.  You supported me.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I love this line from the Wizard of Oz: I’m not a bad man; I’m just a very bad wizard.

NOTE: I only deleted my Follow widget.  I guess I’ll have to upgrade to be able to make the Follow link at the top of the page be gone.  :/

 

 

 

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22 thoughts on “Today I deleted my Follow button

  1. Don’t you just hate it when you explain your position and somebody punches the like button AND comments….Apologies. I really did like your post. :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sad that I can’t read your blog anymore. I wish I understood why. I remember really appreciating it. You were an inspiration when I first started my blog in the fall. I recall a particular post that I reblogged because it helped me to keep writing when I wanted to quit. I hope you are well.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I think I’m going to delete that post because in retrospect, I realized how much I need community and how….arrogant? foolish? it would be to stop following and being followed because I learn and learn and learn so much from others (yes, lookin at you Red) on here. Thank you, Red. xo

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m really glad. I come and go all over the net with different names over the years. It’s hard to keep up with community sometimes. But I agree, this has benefited me as a person and as a writer, being here. Talking. Listening. Thanks so much for responding/

        Like

  2. No! No no no! You’re in my top three. There would never be a way, a time I’d feel bugged by you, ever. Ever ever. I heart you and your writing, your “voice,” so much.

    Well this is embarrassing, after worrying for three or four days that I’d been a letch, and you not noticing it. I thought you said you saw “Fifty Shades of Gray”. Next time I’ll just club you over the head and drag you to my cave. I’m kidding. And I’m done with the whole tying up thing, I swear. But if you ever want to have a mutual marathon writing session, I think that would be cool. Maybe four hours, or so? Or maybe start smaller. I don’t know. But the thought of someone else stuck to their chair at the same time I am, is kind of comforting, encouraging, and inspiring.

    Just a thought.

    Like

  3. Your introversion seems to be clouding your view of the world, at least from a literary perspective. You seem to believe that everybody, apart from you, has no problems churning at Posts on a regular basis – Wrong! You seem to believe that you are unique in having grammatical concerns – Wrong! You seem to believe that your writing is rather “young” – Irrelevant!
    If you are writing for yourself ……….. who cares! If you are writing to generate interest from others, then the only thing that matters is that you get your message across. If you can do with a 500 word single sentence, or no punctuation ………. more power to you. Correct punctuation and grammatical structures are certainly a benefit for purposes of clarity, but don’t get hung up on them ………. as long as your message is getting understood. Keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t completely understand, but I understand the spirit of what you are trying to do. The meta stuff freaks me out sometimes too. But I don’t have a lot of conversations offline, I am solitary a lot so I look forward to the interactions here.

    On the other hand, the thinking is very similar to mine- I worry about it all the time.. Allbest to you in your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m following you because I like how you write. I totally get it about the follow/follow concept and I am so far removed from blogging lately, it aint even funny. It is SO time consuming to comment, to go to others’ blogs, and to get involved. I have a busy life, plus how do peeps expect me to keep on posting at the rate I do, with my photography and poems, if I am blogging? So, I have begun to close comments. LOL I even took off my follower count, because it just doesn’t matter to me anymore. For those who really want to be at Petals, they show up. As for numbers, I used to be obsessed at getting a huge following, but now I am so sunk under the comments, I groan outloud. I want to create. Creating takes TIME. And darn it, I am making TIME for me. Totally get this post!!!!

    Like

    1. Yes. I agree 100%. But after posting that post, I started having mixed feelings (groan). You know, on the one hand what you said, on the other hand such and such and so forth. At the same time, I started getting followed by a few very, *very* good writers whom I could learn a lot from regarding technique, and process. Writers who are writing novels and short stories. Who are doing the work I want to do. So…I’m going to chalk it up to growing pains. Plus, I absolutely cannot live without community – like this. You, and me, talking. And I may change my mind tomorrow. xo ;) PS From out of the blue a man gave me some advice that at first blew my hair back a little but then made me laugh. I’ll post it later, I think you’ll like it. PPS I don’t think I ever *really* knew/appreciated writing was so damn much work!!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Writing a novel or short story I know I could not do. I do plan on having at least one book published of my writings and phtography that you will find on Petals. I’m fortunate because many of those sayings on Petals comes about in conversations like this, OR yes, I do have a MUSE and She speaks to me in the darnedest of places. Speaking of learning, I have learned SO much regarding my photography and my writing from the friends I have made here on WP. Oh yes I LOVE the interaction, yet life can be so busy at times. I’m officially not blogging (again) due to several ill cats I have, all special needs. Emotionally I’m done in for. Physically I’m ready to drop. But when I am hot and heavy here, I blow steam and then some! I’ve lost count how many keyboards I’ve worn out because I type so much. My writing is HERE, in conversation. LOL I’m with you …. I would be lost without the community here. So many have become so dear to me.
        Photography, is a LOT of work, believe you me! I make it look easy because I belt out so many posts. But, if I told you how much I’ve studied, the hours I have put in shooting to learn, the extent I go to when shooting …. the long held close to the ground poses holding my breath waiting for image to come in clearly and winds to die down, hours spent in the editing room learning new techniques and just editing period …. oh yes, and more! LOL
        On my way to shower and bed. This morning you were not awake. Hehehehehe We are talking at your beginning of the day and my end of the day! I am SO glad this day is over. I will pass out the moment I hit my pillow. Look forward to the post you mentioned … IF I don’t see it, ring my bell at Petals. I really want to read it. I miss out on many posts especially lately …. so busy with my gardens and cats and it is so beautiful outside I do NOT want to be in on a computer. Talk to you later!!! :)

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Then it is time to shed those expectations of yourself….and just do you…and the rest will take care of itself :)
    Love yourself by giving to you. We are all here just to share…just share you as you see fit. We will look after ourselves…and just enjoy what you decide to put out…or not :)
    Have a great day…enjoy being you :)

    Liked by 1 person

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